New Year's No-No's


Greetings everyone! As the New Year finds everyone in hopefully good health and high spirits there are several things that come with it. Everyone wants to start over as if the actual changing of the years erases prior ills and fails. Well I understand the mentality behind needing a definite point in time to get your life together, but let’s be a little honest with ourselves. If there are some changes you need to make in your life, and you know about them well enough in advance to plan on making them at some defined point in the future, you are doing yourself a disservice. Just go ahead and do what you need to do, and feel better faster.

I digress.

I decided to make a nice little list of things that I would be most happy if the masses could avoid doing publicly as the ball drops this year. I think it’s a step toward freedom for all mankind. It seems that as social networking picks up more speed and people live vicariously through their lives online, we are becoming more and more privy to thoughts that I’m sure we could all go without. So in an attempt to pump the breaks on senseless status updates and driving people up the wall, here’s a little list to hopefully guide your sharing this holiday season.

  1. Everyone adds people here and there on FB that perhaps we don’t like, don’t know, or grow to hate. It’s not necessary to announce on FB that you will be deleting people in 2010. This makes no sense. Do you expect people to stop and analyze their FB interactions with you to determine if they are on the chopping block? Ok…and then what? Do I now have 16 days to plead my case? LOL It’s not that serious. Just delete and move on.
  2. Same with Twitter, don’t need to hear that you are unfollowing people because you just don’t have room in your life for the nonsense. That in itself is nonsense and you should start moving more life furniture starting with *points finger* YOU.
  3. Unless you are speaking on your winterboo updates, no one needs to hear you lament about how you will end your single streak in 2010. Unless of course you are being totally honest about the things that make YOU an undateable person, and you are planning to change those things, 2010 will probably look like 2009, 2008, etc. So please, just go back to updating about what you had for lunch.
  4. We all have plans to lose weight every time the New Year rolls along. However, don’t flood the gym without knowing what you’re doing. These times the gym is super packed and everyone needs to be on point. Don’t be lazy and hog the ab machine. Also, don’t front like you’re trying, but in reality you just stand behind the treadmill machines stretching for an hour. FB Photos will tell your secret in 4 months.
  5. Success is an ongoing measure to reach for. Don’t start talking about how you are going to take a break and then get back in grind mode come 2010. As someone who loves a good accountability partner, and can be one for you if you like, I’m just going to slap you upside the head. Success never sleeps, so neither should you. Telling me that you’re going to chill, but you have big plans in 2010 tells me you aren’t hungry, and I like to eat, so get out of my way. šŸ™‚

New Year’s Resolutions are for you and no one else. I’m all about the power of affirmations and I share my more broad affirmations that can be used by all, but we don’t need to hear/read your entire list of ways you are going to get your life together. Chances are you won’t finish the whole list, and then how will you feel knowing, that I know, that you know, and well…. you know.

That’s about it for now, I feel like this post comes off a bit more Crabby Sally than I intended, but it’s Monday, it’s early, and vacation starts on Friday. Do you have any other New Years No-No’s that you would like to add to the list? I considered doing a rants on the big Facebook F’ups I see on the daily, but that’s another post all together. Join in the fun!



To all the Precious girls out there, I'm sorry.


I bought and read the book Push by Sapphire yesterday while getting my hair done. Yes, I read the book in a matter of hours it was that engaging. Granted it’s not a very large book, but there were several times I had to put it down. As many of you know by now, Push is the book that inspired the movie Precious. When I first saw the trailer months ago I thought “That looks good, I will make sure I go see that.” However, at the time I didn’t really know how deep that rabbit hole went. Of course as the movie gained more exposure and the book became talking point of the year, more information about Precious’ story came to light and I began to get a bit uncomfortable.

However, curiosity and the desire to understand got the best of me and I finally got the book yesterday. I would say that from the beginning I was completely caught off guard. The story is told by Precious and for some reason that made a big impact on me. Her story was told in a way that rung too real to me. My naive mind could never grasp that things like that really happened to real people. It’s interesting because in the story, she couldn’t believe it either. To put it mildly, the things conveyed in her story are horrific. So much so that I didn’t even feel comforted by the fact that it was a work of fiction. My heart ached for Precious. While Precious is not a real person she does truly exist and that terrifies me. How many people do we pass in the streets and just write them off as being trash, bums, invisible? How many people would we stop to help if we knew their story? How often to we stop to hear their story?

You know a lot of people live be the “pull yourself up by the bootstraps” theory and I understand that. However, it’s not always 100% that easy. Precious is a story of success; however, it should have never gotten to the point that it did. That’s what bothers me. Precious is a victim in every sense of the word yet the average person upon seeing a girl like her would probably write her off as nothing in the blink of an eye. After being pregnant twice as a child, she would be seen as a loose whore who doesn’t deserve a decent life. Yet that couldn’t be farther from the truth. I wonder how many girls lay in hospital beds after giving birth and say “I was raped” or “this is my father’s child” and the workers keep on moving? Who is there for the child that watches her mother killed and is left by her father? Who will mend the girl that had to sell herself on the streets because she had NO OTHER OPTION. And the people who are against protection for street workers crack me up. You don’t have a clue. Some people don’t have bootstraps to pull.

I don’t blame you for not having a clue though, neither did I. This past weekend I met up with “My Kid’s” book club and we read some pretty cute books together. I look at them and pray for their innocence even though I know it’s not easy. I fear what could be going on behind the closed doors in my neighborhood and I would just die to hear if something of the same magnitude of the things Precious encountered were happening. However, that is why I make it a point to be a listening ear and a trusting friend to these girls. Many of you saw me tweeting about taking my neighbor to school that is 13 years old. I talked about how she’s so developed physically but delayed academically. I complained that I didn’t know how to reach her. After reading Precious the fire inside me to fight even harder to reach this girl grew 1000-fold. She may not live Precious’ story, but there were several other women in the book that were victims. It shined so much light on other possibilities that I will not let my neighbor go until I know that she knows she can always come to me.

Don’t be that person that walks by and casts a disgusting look at the person struggling. While they may appear to you as nothing, they are everything. Would you be able to live a life like that? Take away all you’ve ever known and force you to live in hell, I don’t know if you would fare the same. I’m not sure I would.Ā  The minds of these people have been warped, but not lost. I pray for the success of women and men out there struggling to pull themselves out of the hell they’ve been placed in. Everything happens for a reason though and their struggle does not have to be in vain. While we are not in the homes of every person crying, dying, and trying, we do encounter them. If someone reaches out to you, take hold.

I want to say a special shout out to my educators out there doing the MOST in the BEST way to help these children. Kiesha, Vasti, Chaz, Adrian, Sean, Tiara, and many more. If I forgot your name it was my mind not my heart. To all my friends out there that give their time mentoring and volunteering at homeless shelters, battered women shelters, and advancement programs, thank you. Clearly there is money out there to fund wars, but not to take care of the people not fighting. Thank you for doing it for free because otherwise it wouldn’t get done.

I know too many awesome and intelligent individuals for us not to be able to think of ways to make impacts in our communities that could snowball into a larger effect. Let’s get on it.

****Can I just say the the actress that played Precious, Gabby Sidibe, is AMAZING. She’s truly an amazing person and proof that you can love yourself no matter how people may try to get you not to. Oh I just can’t wait to see her career skyrocket!

Volunteer: Make Someone's Day


I love volunteering! I’ve been giving back in my community since I was a young teenager. While I was in high school, it was required for the IB program that I complete 200 hours of community service and honestly, I found the most enjoyment out of working with people. Sure picking up leaves, and environmental issues are important too, but I love interacting with people and understanding their walk in life. In college I joined a sorority dedicated to SERVICE and I continue to uphold those values.

I am a volunteer with Hands on Atlanta so I surf their site monthly to look up projects old and new to get involved in. There was one project called The Samaritan House and Cafe 458 that I had always wanted to do but they never had hours that would work for me. Basically, it’s a program for homeless/transitioning people to get them the training and development they need to get back on their feet. It’s not a shelter, but they do provide meals for them. It’s awesome! Well I recently got a ticket and while I was in court I asked if I could do community service instead of paying the fine. I had the money to pay (I actually thought the fine would be higher) but to be honest, any opportunity that I can take to work in the community I will. Plus I believe the whole system of fining is extremely flawed and rude in the City of Atlanta, but that’s another rant. I went online and discovered that The Samaritan House had hours that I could do before work! Great!

So the function that I am volunteering in is in the cooking/food service capacity. I’ll be doing this for 4 days to fulfill my “fine” but I’ve actually committed to a monthly service. This morning I arrived not sure what to expect. I figured we would be serving food to extremely downtrodden individuals and I was prepared for the worst. We started cooking, and due to some issues they didn’t have their normal fare of food. We made hot pockets, grits, and potatoes for about 60 people. There was juice, fruit, and a healthy granola bar for them as well. I was pretty pumped up.

When the clients started filing in I was really surprised. Some men were in very nice suits, someĀ  men and women weren’t in suits but dressed fairly nicely. Sure some men and women looked as though they were a bit worn, tired, weathered, but overall they did not look like the stereotypical mold of “homeless”. I think that is important to note so I’ll be back to that in a second. One thing they all looked thought was hungry, I can recognize that look anywhere. I wear it constantly. I was so hyped up I couldn’t wait to get the food flowing.

While Cafe 458 is set up like a restaurant where you serve the guests and it helps them with their social skills, The Samaritan House runs a bit like a cafeteria. I bet that the girl next to me and myself were probably the prettiest set of “cafeteria ladies” these guys have seen in a while. They seemed to get a kick out of us. To say that I was moved, is an understatement. I have worked with disadvantaged people before but never like this. They were so grateful, so kind, and so uplifted. One guy asked me what I did for a living. I mentioned that I write. He told me, “I could probably write a bestselling novel on my life.” I looked at him and told him dead seriously, “Well I would read it.” He said that I wouldn’t want to because it’s sad. Ugh. My heart broke into a million pieces. I told him that if he wrote it right up until present day then the ending couldn’t be that bad. He was alive, standing in a room full of people laughing, joking, caring, and about to eat a nice hot meal. Sounds like something to at least smile about. He agreed and said that he supposed it could have a happy ending.

Le Sigh.

Going back to my impression of the clients. I think it’s important to understand the face of homelessness. It doesn’t always look like the man that knocks on your window with the sign. There are programs out there to help people that want to be helped. Not all homeless people are just lazy bums who messed up in life. Keep that in mind. The Samaritan House provides a Laundry Room where clients can come in and wash their clothes. They provide Storage for those that have important things that cannot travel with them, and they provide workshops in all sorts of life development areas. They don’t just tell them how to write a resume, how to not flop an interview, and then push them out the door. They really focus on showing their clients that not all hope is lost.

It’s important to give back. If you can’t give your time, give donations. Funding comes and goes for many of these programs so they often rely on the goodness of the community. They need bodies in place to be able to run their program but they will take anything they can get. Donations buy food, fix broken appliances, or upgrade old ones. The issue of homelessness affects us all even though we’re fortunate enough to have a place to lay our heads. Please play a role in keeping the streets from being someone’s home.

If homelessness is not where your passion lies, or interacting with people is not for you, find something that is. I know not everyone cares about volunteering, but in my opinion you should. You don’t live alone in this world, and so to turn a blind eye to those in need is absolutely irresponsible if you ask me. Many of my friends are in Fraternities and Sororities so I implore you to continue the hard work and dedication in the communities. Whether it’s about social or environmental issues, there’s something out there for everyone. Find out where you can help!


Hands On Atlanta

The Samaritan House

Get Thee Away From Me "Holier Than Thou" Person


My linesisters were having a conversation about my blog post “The Blacker The Berry….” (I love them so much. Proof that we support each other without always having to be loud about it. Shout out to Vasti and Juana!) and it spawned them talking about other situations in which people are extremely righteous about their cause.Ā  So I thought I’d blog about other causes in which people act all righteous and get these things off my chest. I’ll start off slow and work my way into a completely belligerent tirade.

The Vegetarians/Vegans vs. The Carnivores:

Listen, I understand you have issues with animal consumption. I also understand that the reasons for this vary across the board. Some people are anti-the meaty goodness because of health reasons, religious reasons, environmental reasons, and so forth and so on. However, please stop making it a personal mission of yours to mess up a good meal for me. Now I do not eat pork. I make jokes with certain people about how it will kill you, but I never talk mess when they belly up to the table. I also rarely eat beef. I gave it up completely, but every now and then I gotta have a burger. What I cannot stand is when Vegans/Vegetarians go on a berating session on how much meat-eaters suck. You do not have to tell me about all of the horrid things that are done to cows/pigs/chickens/fish because I’ll be real with you, I’ve seen the videos, and it’s still not enough to make me give up the chicken! My sense of awesomeness that comes with being on the top of the food chain blocks my ability to value the life of an animal over my own desire to have some good eatin. Do I wish they handled the animals more humanely? Yes. So instead of trying to gross me out and belittle me, share knowledge. Tell me what I could write to my congressmen/women to get animal rights legislation passed. Tell me which products are cage-free and which companies use humane slaughter. I don’t wave my chicken leg in your face, stop trying to convert me. I love Popeyes.

This is where I get long-winded and angry

The Hair Nazis:

The Natural Hair Nazis:
Stop telling everyone that has a perm that they “hate themselves”. Just stop it. That’s extremely rude and hurtful. Now I am against perming children’s hair just like the next person. Adamantly. It does force a negative mentality onto the child and it’s unhealthy. But let’s take that situation out of the equation. You constantly bashing me and telling me that I suffer some self-hate is no better than the brainwashing we’ve undergone at the hands of European beauty standards. I FULLY understand what you’re saying, but it doesn’t have to be that serious. Yes I know that we’ve been trained to believe that straight is pretty and curly is not. However, I have been natural before. Do I double hate myself because I wanted my hair to be extra curly?

The Permed Hair Nazis:
Stop telling me that just because I don’t have the Hawaiian silky that natural is not for me. It’s MY hair, of course it’s for me. I don’t always have to have a wrap for it to be pretty. Get off your high horse too. If you took the perm out of your hair, you might be surprised at what you find yourself. But guess what, it’s YOUR HAIR.

The Weave Nazis:
*Sigh* I was having a convo with a friend via twitter about weaves. He said:

Picture 7

I just wish that men would stay out of women’s hair. I think they make more out of our hair than we do of theirs and it’s insane. There are some underlying issues that we women have with our hair, so we really don’t need men to fuel the fire anymore. I’ll breakdown my issues with this. By display my natural hair, I wonder if he meant with or without perm? (I forgot to ask him). Also, by wearing weave I don’t love myself? Why can people not see how hurtful this is? I used to be so against weaves because men would have such nasty things to say about it and I didn’t want to be mocked. Then I started wearing weaves during transitional phases i.e. going natural, and at this current time, to grow out my short hairstyle. This time around I realized, “Hey, wearing weave is kind of fun!” I’m the type of person that views my hair like clothing. I’ve done several crazy things with my hair (click here to see) and it may change at the drop of a hat. My hair does not change my face. I need men to stop feeling like we use our hair as some great method of deception. Like long pretty weave makes a woman look like Tyra Banks, and when she takes it out she looks like Sophia from The Color Purple. It doesn’t work that way. Sure hair can frame a face a certain way, but it doesn’t completely morph it. Halle Berry looks like Halle Berry no matter how she rocks her hair. If you hate weave because you love to run your fingers through a girl’s hair, well I’m sorry, but without a perm you couldn’t do that with my hair anyway. I like the men that stand by the “I just want a girl’s hair to look nice, whatever she wants to with it that makes her happy, as long as she takes care of it.” Now that I can deal with. Also men, don’t give me that “I just like a girl to be her natural self” crap and then you snuff women with the afro puffs. If you like ’em long haired, thick, redboned then just say that! You want me to keep it real, you keep it real!

To the above hair nazis let me say this: I LOVE MYSELF. I don’t define who I am through my hair and neither should you. I do with my hair whatever I like. Yes, I find my hair easier to do when it’s permed because it’s what I know best, but tell me I’m lazy before you tell me I hate myself. And why do YOU care what I do with my hair? If I’m happy, why must you make a crazy big deal out of it? To all of you natural haired women with blonde hair do you hate yourself? That’s not your natural hair color! YOU MUST WANT TO BE WHITE! I kid. I’m sure you dyed it because you thought it looked cool and you like it. Well guess what? That’s why I wear the weave. It’s like makeup to me, or a really nice pair of shoes. It doesn’t MAKE me, but it’s an accessory. Also, for those men that allow weave to be a dealbreaker, that’s strange. I mean yes, some women that’s ALL they wear and if you’re a man that’s extremely bothered by that then *shrugs* but to brush a woman off that happens to be wearing one for a moment is weird. It’s just hair. It can be removed.

My main point of this all, is stop being so righteous. I know I do this at times with music, but it’s not because I want you to SEE THE LIGHT it’s more because I DON’T want you to like my underground music. I want it to stay underground and good. With the vegetarians and the hair nazis, you would probably be better off being nice about things instead of insulting if your goal is to enlighten someone.


Any other issues you want to rant about?

Self-awarenes: Get some.


One of the things that I sometimes pat myself on the back on is my sense of self-awareness. I’m not talking about some of my quirks or the fact that I talk a lot (yes, I know… I talk A LOT). I’m actually talking about how through my process of maturing (still growing folks)Ā  I noticed somethings that I had to get right about myself. It really took me going through some tough times to understand the less than savory sides of myself, but the good news is that I was able to course correct. I noticed that while I talked a good talk, I didn’t always walk the good walk. It’s a bit like when you’re giving someone really good advice, but then you don’t listen to it yourself. What sense does that make? When I was with my ex I noticed I became an emotional fool, resorted to all sorts of loserdom tactics, and a few other things that if I would have just chilled, the situation probably wouldn’t have gotten so bad.

This can apply to several things however, not just relationships with men, but even relationships with friends. Often times the gossiper doesn’t realize how much they gossip, the backstabbing friend doesn’t notice the trail of broken-hearted friends they have left behind, the cheater seriously doesn’t see what they are doing wrong, the golddigger doesn’t even realize that’s what they are doing. This is the hardest to overcome. Some people know who they are and they are easier to spot and avoid. However, I truly believe that sometimes when we are acting immature or out of pocket we don’t even realize it. It’s part of a deep down survival instinct. The friend that constantly hurts his or her friends by betraying them probably constantly feels the need to break away for some reason. They may fear being hurt themselves.Ā  The gossiper talks about everyone else to keep the attention off of themselves. The golddigger may have low self-esteem and no confidence they would be able to survive alone. On and on and on.

Well, I just want to implore everyone out there to take your own journey to self-awareness. Check yourself. Even though I have come out of my darkness I often times have to stop to check myself. I know everyone loves #goingin on twitter or in real life, and it’s funny and we don’t always have to be so serious, but you just have to know when to reel it in. When every conversation you have is about someone else, their misfortune, or anything to make your mouth move, you may need to check yourself. When you notice that you’ve been in a string of hurtful relationships, it’s time to check yourself. By now you probably get the point.

I think a lot of people that are single and constantly looking are failing to be self-aware of their own drawbacks. Just because YOU think you deserve that Barack or Michelle Obama type doesn’t mean you actually do. Every time I hear someone talk about how they are looking for Michelle, I ask “but are you on Obama’s level?” They say, “I’m on my way.” So I kindly remind them that they should probably be looking for a Michelle-in-waiting as well. There’s nothing wrong with expecting and wanting awesomeness, but some people with these ridiculously high-standards wouldn’t meet the lowest of the low’s. I need people to step out of material character these days and focus on true character and personality. Self-aware does not mean counting up all of your possessions, checking your credit score, and listing off your career accomplishments. Those are all nice things, but what is really behind the person that holds all of that? That’s what we should be looking to know.

I think if we all took a tiny bit more time worrying less about everyone else and TRULY getting in touch with our star player we’d see the world become a tiny bit of a better place. For those of you whose glass is always half-empty, maybe you could find ways to make it half-full. Perhaps you just weren’t aware that you’re a sourpuss and being around you is like standing next to a pissy raincloud. Now that you know, you can turn that frown upside down. I know people have bad days, but they shouldn’t be every day that ends in a Y. Let’s do better people.

No one is perfect, and I’m not advocating that. I’m just saying that you don’t always have to wait for someone to tell you about yourself. Chances are you wouldn’t listen anyway. I have personally stopped trying to help people become aware of certain character flaws as I noticed that no one ever told me. I have to continuously #checkmyself. However, I have started to pull away from toxic individuals. The way I see it, if every time I’m around you are running your mouth about everyone in the world, I’m sure that when I’m gone you are talking about me. If I’m watching you backstab and hurt people in your circle, it won’t be long before it’s me.

So today’s lesson is a bit deeper than I originally planned. #1 Gain some self-awareness. This might help you to figure out some of the issues you’ve been having. Many things start with you first. #2 stay away from toxic people that refuse to see themselves as such. Their lack of self could become poison for you.

All in all, live well, laugh often, love much! Anyone else have a story of becoming self-aware? Share!

The Blacker the Berry….


No. Stop. Just no. LOL I’m not talking about the sweetness of the juice, how old the berry is, or anything like that. Actually, I’m talking about those among us in the black community that love to tout how much they know about “Black People” versus how little you know, and so therefore you suck.

I know you’ve seen it. Someone says, “Happy Independence day!” on their facebook status and someone runs in to reply that “we aren’t FREE! How dare you celebrate that day!? LEARN YOUR HISTORY!” Or someone is discussing traditions here in America and someone runs up to say “These aren’t OUR traditions, LEARN YOUR HISTORY!!”

So then you’re left standing there stammering, feeling kind of shamed and less black, all for what? Just so someone could have their moment of “I’m blacker than you!” I have to say this is a far cry from those days of House Negro envy but is it really all that different? I’m extremely happy that Black people are digging deep to learn a stolen culture, but we’re still divided and being conquered. I don’t like how some “enlightened” black people take on a tone of superiority concerning their vast knowledge of African culture yet they are unwilling to help open eyes. Sometimes it gets a bit worse when coming from someone who was born in an African country and made their way to the States or is a 1st generation American whose family is still very connected to their culture.

I fully understand the concept behind Pan-Africanism and I push myself to learn more and more about the cultures from which I came from as often as I can. However, I am not mad at a Black American for being a Black American. That means I’m not mad at that person for practicing American traditions and holidays. Do I think all Black Americans should have an understanding and interest in the traditions and values of their ancestors? ABSOLUTELY! But what I won’t do is demean and belittle them for any lack of knowledge they may have in that area.

Let me give you a personal anecdote. I’m a child of immigrants much like many of my friends, my mother was born and raised for most of her childhood in Bermuda. Under my Grandmother I was the first child born in America. My family came to the US due to the Military and saw America was the land of all awesomeness. While some things were pretty foreign such as the extreme amount of racism they encountered, the US was still like the land of milk, honey, and the Yankees. When my mother had me, she raised me as an American. I went to school, learned what they taught, got straight A’s, and all was well. I made my mother proud and she now has a shrine dedicated to me in our house. I did not get a lot of African-American or African lessons in the house because honestly, my mother was not well versed on that either. Being that she did not grow up as an American (still not a citizen) her knowledge of the African-American experience was pretty limited and we lived in a really country city so it’s not like our school system was all too progressive. I’m not mad at my mother or anything of the sort, she’s the most awesomest human being out there. LOL

So I didn’t grow up hearing first hand stories of the Civil Rights Movement and Pan-Africanism. I don’t come from a household of militants and activists who marched and rallied in cities across America. I grew up taking trips back home to a Sub-tropical island and watching the Goombeys.Ā  My militant-side developed while I was in college. I had to do research on my own so in my mind I’m kind of behind. I may be that person when someone lists off an abstract date or event in Black History that has to raise their hand and get clarity. Instead of crucifying me for it, share knowledge. Isn’t that the whole point? Do people really want to run around being the only person that knows every marriage tradition of every African culture just so they can say that they are?

Contrary to what Soledad O’Brian tried to do, we all have to know by now that the black experience is hard to define. Just as I may not know everything there is to know about the various African cultures and you may not know a thing about Bermuda. Bermuda was part of the trans-atlantic slave trade as well. We have our culture and traditions that are important to us, and I LOVE sharing that. I think sometimes our pride gets the better of us. Instead of screaming at someone for celebrating the 4th of July, share with them the history behind Juneteenth. Instead of calling someone ignorant for practicing the American marriage tradition of the woman taking the man’s last name, share with them the marital traditions of the people of your African culture. Despite how “enlightened” some people are they still have to realize that Africa is not confined to one culture. While you may be Nigerian, Ghanan, Liberian, or what have you and you know that, some of us have no idea where we came from. So to tell me the traditions of the people of Zimbabwe is extremely awesome, but I will probably not feel it stir within me the desire to run out and do the same things.

The point I’m trying to make is just because you went to Morehouse and read a lot of really good books doesn’t make you blacker than me. Just because you came to the United States 4 years ago for college does not make you blacker than me. If you know something, share something. The internet is vast, just drop a few hints and plant seeds for people to go out and research. We’ll all be better off understanding the roots of our culture, so let’s leave the division with those that started it.

Anyone ever experienced this or am I just a poor country girl who don’t know a thing? LOL At least I’m catching up!


Ladies & Gents: Rules For Winter


Good Monday everyone! I am back in effect from a week of blog vacation and I’m feeling great! And by great I mean extremely cold. Anyways, I have been holding off on this post because I figured I had some time but it seems as though Al Gore was right! This global warming thing is a beast and winter came early! I propose that we get rid of Fall, call it Winter instead, and call winter months “Hold On To Your Short & Curlys” Season… Too much? Ok we’ll call it “BRRRR” for short. (GUCCI)

So either way, I figured that with Winter HERE (37 degrees this morning people. In the A. No Bueno) now would be a good time to discuss the Do’s and Don’ts for the Winter season.

Ladies, let me speak to you first.

What I have to say is very important so read carefully. Just because these months are cold and we spend most of our time covered up, does not mean that you can neglect the feminine landscape. I’m sorry ladies, you will have to continue to wax, shave, nair, veet, or whatever as the year turns the corner. Since Spooning is now in effect, no reasonable person wants to snuggle up to a burly woman. If his legs rubbing against your legs is enough to start a small fire, we need to take a step back and reevaluate. It is unacceptable for you to ignore the bikini line just because there are no bikinis. Besides, you should be landscaping for reasons above and beyond poolside displays.

Also ladies, it is not cute to stand outside of the club, movie theater, mall, where ever you like to go, shivering, teeth chattering, skin turning translucent all because you just HAD to wear those booty shorts. I understand that while it’s cold outside it can get pretty hot inside of a club, but let’s be for real for a second. You can dress sexily while still covering up some parts and maintaining your cool while dancing. You are sending out all the wrong signals when you walk up to the club wearing Beyonce’s line of body suits and a pair of Dereon pumps in 30 degree weather. Do they make shoes? If they do I bet they are a bedazzled phenomenon. At least wear a reasonable jacket so that you don’t look like a person who rode the short bus in their childhood. Common sense is not common to everyone, but if you are wearing heels that have you all exposed to the elements, don’t be mad when people laugh at your Ostrich walk to the car. We know you can’t feel your toes.

On to the gentlemen

Do not think that you are absolved from manscaping as well. That bush on your face was not there in July and it’s looking crazy on you in November. They have scarves for a reason. You don’t see me hiding behind a beard so that is no excuse. If that were the case you would grow an afro to keep that big head of yours warm. Instead you wear a hat, so here’s a scarf, please handle that. Also, if you practice manscaping in other areas, please be sure to keep that up as well. Winter is never the time to “let yourself go”.

Like I said to the ladies this is the time to dress appropriately. With you however, this does not give you the excuse to wear sweat pants and hoodies all day and night. Be comfortable sure, but do not regress to your teenage athletic years and break out all of your high school sweat suits. No Bueno.

Also men, take your vitamins. I’m talking Vitamin C, Echinecea, Multivitamins, whatever. I say this because when you get sick, it’s the end of the world. You become a big babbling baby that only your mother could love. You want me to cook you Chicken Soup from scratch, rub your back, and put Vicks over your nose like “Mommy” does. That’s all well and good but when I’m sick, all you can do is show up with a bottle of Orange Juice (not even the Simply Orange good stuff) and some Tydenol (probably the wrong kind). So in the vein of reciprocity, unless your mother lives nearby, I suggest you do your best to stay healthy.

Rules we could all live by

Winter is a time in which one can really show off their style and fashion sense. It’s harder to string together awesome outfits when you have more to work with. However, you will be rewarded many more points on your selections during the winter. Your ability to layer, pick a perfect scarf, rock a suit with a trenchcoat, wear the sexiest boots will surely ensure your winterboo options are plentiful. Also, if I see pictures on Facebook of ANYONE wearing the Pajamas with the feet I will defriend you. (Tab you are the only exception. LOL)

Winter is also the perfect time to be creative in other ways. The joy of going out is extremely diminished when you have to pile on layers of clothes, warm the car up 15 minutes early, stand in lines, or just be cold period. It would behoove you to have fun creative things to do at home. Have your DVD collection stocked up and recent, get the really cute and comfy blankets within reach, and keep the cabinets stocked with all of the best wintertime goodies. Make sure you have eggnog and brandy in constant inventory, cookies, and hearty meals.


Ok I just got a really warm and fuzzy feeling. Despite the fact that I am freezing my behind off in the office today, I love this time of year. The domestic side of me is in full force and I love to decorate, cook, and be merry. I feel like this is the most intimate time of year. Sure during the summer it’s all about skin and splashing around, but this is when things get cozy and comfy. I look forward to big meals and dinner parties, pumpkin spice and lattes. Soft hairless skin and warm blankets. Bring it on winter!

What is your favorite part of the winter season? What rules do you have for this delicate time of year?