Explain the Club life please

I make my disposable living off of the club culture and the people that will show up weekend after weekend, so believe me when I say I appreciate ya. However, when I’m at work 90% of the time I’m highly irritated, allergic to the music, allergic to the smoke, and allergic to the men who seem to have forgotten common sense and decency. I put a smile on my face (sometimes) and I serve up them drinks, but I just don’t get it. Every now and then we host an event that if I wasn’t working I’d more than likely attend but those are probably the sneaker events or the concerts. Club nights? I’d rather stay at home and watch Love Jones or My Big Fat Greek Wedding.

So someone help me out. What is so great about the club culture post-college? When I was in college this was of course majorly acceptable behavior. If you weren’t at a house party you were at the club. This was fun to me because I knew pretty much everyone in the club and we would have a good time doing our FL dances and drinking. There were no threats of random losers (losers maybe, but not random ones) trying to get all up on you and chances are afterwards everyone would go to whatever place it would be to replenish with some type of greasy food. Others, made love connections.

When I left college however, going to the club just became something I did because everyone else was doing it. I started to struggle with it because I definitely did not want to be there, yet I’m young and isn’t that what I’m supposed to love doing? I realized that my problem is I’m just not club material. When I go out, it’s to dance. That’s it. Dance and have a few overpriced drinks. I’m not in there trying to meet my future husband, I’m not looking for random nasty hookups, and I don’t care to break my neck trying to see “ballers” and their groupies. So when you put all that together, going to the club becomes a nightmare for me. The music these days in the club is horrible, so the chances of me really getting my Darren’s Dance Grooves off are pretty slim (Thank God for Chicago). Additionally, more people are starting to blame their recklessness on the Goose and are super bold. I try to be nice and hit them with the “I have a boyfriend” but I’m usually hit back with “What’s he got to do with me?” from men or even worse “He doesn’t have to know” from WOMEN (Gotta love ATL. Nothing wrong with lovin’ who you love, but I play with the other team). This is like a perfect storm of absolutely no fun.

I understand that those are all based off my reasons for ever going to the club, but clearly everyone else has a different agenda. I just want to know what it is? Men are always saying that you don’t meet the wife in the club. They claim all the women in the clubs are just boppers/thirsty/etc. So then men, why are you going? Women rarely have to pay to go to the club, so y’all are paying inflated prices just to get a piece? That’s practically paying for vagine! And sometimes you don’t get it! You claim consistently that they are thirsty, but you stay buying drinks! I know men that refuse to buy drinks, but then they end up being posted on the wall with their boys. So now explain that one. You pay $20-$40 to stand on a wall with your homies? I mean, we know people don’t dance anymore.

Ladies, do you realize that men think that all women in the club are a hot mess? Now you know and I know that it’s not true. But their perception is their reality. But really, why go out if you only have $15? You know parking is at least $5. I hear y’all complaining about the men who grab you and say nasty things to you, but the dress that’s showing your breakfast is giving the wrong signal (or is it? Also, I realize that no matter how you’re dressed, it doesn’t give anyone the right to touch you). Also, I see you here, but you aren’t dancing either. The only time you moved was to “drop down low and sweet the floor with it” and then of course to flip your left hand back and forth “uh uh oh uh uh oh oh oh oh” style. Then at the end of the night you walk out talking about how lame all of the men were as if you were actually looking to meet a gentleman in the club as well. We know this doesn’t work out.

On Friday and Saturday nights you can usually find me tweeting about the foolywang I’m witnessing in the bar. I look at my twitterfeed and everyone is talking about how they are on their way to some club that’s about to be BLAZING! It’s gonna be BANANAS!! Then they are tweeting about that long line they are standing in or how the bar is too packed. So tell me again, what makes a club BANANAS or BLAZING?

Now I love a nice lounge. As long as the music is tight. I like chilling, sipping, and conversing. Vibing to good music and feeling nice. The clubs just don’t do it for me. Sometimes I’ll hit a club when I’m in FL just to try and get that same old feeling, but it’s just not the same. I think I just enjoy the company of my friends which is the only reason I club ever. If I’m with them, we make it fun, otherwise, I’m salty and sourfaced all night.

So…someone… explain please?

Oh and tip your bartenders!

pr07bartender1

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Why I'll always love FL

Everyone knows that I’m a music snob. I’m a real unsigned hype type of girl. I haven’t listened to the radio in years (for real) and I don’t even know what channel BET or MTV is on my Satellite. But I’m a FL girl thru and thru. You can take me out the state but you can’t take the state out of me. This is dedicated to my FL people. Don’t no body care about no Soulja Boy.

Bean Ahh

Wign

Wu-Tang

Keep Jookin

The Wooo

That’s all folks. I was going to add Peanut Butter Jelly, Ice Cream & Cake, and City Boi Wit It, but I got too excited. LOL

Close Encounters of the Club Kind

I know that over on FXP we had a post about what NOT to do in the club, I’m going to pretty much create my own list because I have seen it from all sides. Many know that on the weekends, I spend my time working at a club, and my experiences in that scene have ruined ATL nightlife for me.

But in an effort to stop the gratuitous usage of the word “Bitch” when referring to a girl that perhaps is just not into you, and to also stop the thirstiness that occurs within a 10-foot radius around the bar, I shall tell it like I see it.

1) I am sorry men. Sometimes women go to the club to dance, not to meet men. The sad thing is, you don’t know this, so you approach and you get denied. I will talk about how we women can handle this better. But here’s a hint, the reason they are bundled up in the “cluster” is because they are seeking to enjoy each others company. A woman on the prowl, will hunt with distance from her own pack.

2) Men, please do not FORCE yourself on a woman/group of women that you may have some attraction to. Recently I was out with a homegirl eating at a local spot. I guess after a certain amount of time the atmosphere becomes more club like. Well we were sitting down eating, when two…..Boys came and sat at our table. Uninvited, un-introduced, and unwelcome. They just squeezed into our booth next to us, and the other guy even took my friend’s phone and handed her his exact same phone before she could even realize the switch. It was a complete invasion on our personal space and we were so caught off guard and terrified. I’m sure they thought this was slick, but instead it was creepy! We tried really hard to smile and let them know that they were unwelcome, but IT JUST WOULDN’T WORK. We were even like “Why are you still sitting here!?” No dice. Men, how is it that you are able to completely turn off common sense at these times?

3) Ladies, ladies! Here are a few club rules of engagement I would like to see implemented ASAP.

  1. 01. If you don’t want to dance/talk/entertain a guy in the club don’t ask for him to buy you a drink, and don’t  be rude about it.

  2. 02. Please stop being so thirsty! Come to the club prepared to buy at least ONE drink. As a bartender I can’t stand women who drink Cranberry Juice all night (without tipping… next issue) waiting on a guy to buy them a drink. Get your own!

  3. 03. If  a guy buys you a drink, that’s very nice. Drinks aren’t cheap these days, at least say Thank You, and if it was a random purchase, introduce yourself and let him know if you are interested or not. If it was a guy you’ve been hounding all night, you just ate the bait. To avoid being called a bitch, play your cards right.

  4. 04. Stop giving out your number if you don’t want him to call. Try being honest. Or lie and say you’re gay. But be gentle, men are good with that Bitch word.

4) Men- I am not a “Bitch” simply because I don’t want you. No matter how hot you think you are, I may still not want you. I’ll try to be nice about it, but the minute you start touching on me to get my attention, and grabbing, and getting too close, nice goes out the window. Again, please stop turning your “Swag” on and find your common sense switch.

5) Men & Women- TIP! Especially the ladies. Lord help me. In a club there is almost no such thing as bad service. Almost. I’m not talking about sitting down and eating dinner. I’m talking about serving drinks. As a server, you are at the mercy of the bar. So if I take your drink order it may take a minute to get back to you when the club is 600 deep. It’s not just about the timing of the drink being made, but also the crowd. I cannot hover or levitate, so just like you I have to struggle through the crowd. Now if I just forgot about you, and you’ve seen me 6 times and still no drink, that’s different. But remember, we only make tips. If you feel your drink is watered down, try getting it straight. Adding juice has a tendency to “water it down”. Other than that, you only get 1 1/2 ozs. Go home and see what that looks like. Then you’ll get it. Now leave me alone, put the tip in the jar, and keep it moving. Women, stop being cheap and TIP! Y’all are the worst. If you only have $10, now is not the time to buy a $10 drink. When people don’t tip after good service, I don’t serve them. Pay back is a bitch.

6) Where have all the good dances gone!? In FL we Juk, City Boy With It, Bean ahh, and do whatever Uncle Luke or Trick Daddy tells us to do. WTH is with the snapping, the solo Soulja Boy line dances, and the randomness that is totally unsexy and asexual. We must do better! I’m used to coming out the club sweaty and looking crazy, but hormones on high. Here I come out looking better than when I went in (probably because I was bored and was able to touch up my hair/makeup all throughout the night), irritated, and ready to go to bed. The ATL nightlife has truly died and been replace with Stuntin. It’s not a habit, I don’t want to get like you, and please, do not approach me with the Kappa Shimmy only to dance by yourself doing some dance you saw on YouTube. Oh and you are not a Kappa, so stop the shimmy.

/rant.

“People don’t dance no more, all they do is this….”

An amazing blessing!

As a member of Berean Christian Church I am also on the dance ministry Lions of Judah. Last weekend we had our Black History Month performance and i have to say that it was a BLESSING! We danced to Youthful Praise’s “The Blood” and when I tell you, the experience was AWESOME! When I think about what God has done for me, my family, my friends, this country, and this world, I can’t help but be extremely thankful for The Blood!I just hope our performance really ministered to the people, and it was such an honor to be able to use my talents to give honor to God.

Well, to bring this back to my fitness (lol) I have to say that this was pretty challenging on my body. We practiced pretty much every day last week and I have to tell you, we went full throttle each time. I told my trainer that I thought I was gettting enough of a workout from dance practice so he actually let me slide a little bit on the cardio workouts, however he did encourage me to continue to do some weights. Did you know that you burn calories throughout the day after lifting weights? When you only do cardio, the calorie burning ends when you have finished the exercise. Just some helpful knowledge.

So with 2-2 1/2 hour practices daily, I felt like I was really getting the fitness in last week! Now I’m feeling a little lazy and I’m slacking. And I hit up IHOP last night after church for my free short stack. 🙂 But I’m back on track and I’ll be in the gym TONIGHT! So perhaps there will be a video blog coming soon!

Have a great day, and ALWAYS be thankful for THE BLOOD!

JG*

A workout is a workout

No matter how you do it! Get it in! 😉 

 

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Me looking a mess as always. I took this picture after the West African dance class I took at the Alvin Ailey studio. Those who know me and know how much I love dancing, can probably understand how honored I was to walk in and take a class here. I went to NYC last weekend and couldn’t WAIT to get to the Alvin Ailey studio. It was an hour of fast-paced instruction and dancing. I was sweating even in the 40 degree weather! 

I want to encourage my ladies to get out there and do what you can to get your daily workout in. It doesn’t always have to be in the gym on the treadmill, or running 3 miles. Take a really fun class at your local YMCA or even go to a fun salsa club. Getting your heart rate up is an important part of getting your cardio and will ensure that you are burning calories all throughout your day! 

If you are in NYC or will be soon, please make sure you stop by the Alvin Ailey studio, and if you have seen or will be seeing (like me!) their 50th anniversary show in your area, let me know how it goes! 

 

JG* 

“Running for THEIR lives!”