GreekPicnic '09: Stroll Sex

****Donโ€™t forget! Check out the Official ATL Greek Picnic 2009 Website and follow them on Twitter!****

I had to do a bit of a chuckle when I thought about this because I recalled my own moments of attempting to explain this to friends of mine. From conversations I’ve had this is a common practice. You know how it goes:

The club is packed, all of those fliers that you had printed clearly went to good use as there isn’t a soul sitting down and the Juice Is Loose ยฉ (All the Frats that have “Juice” parties). Y’all have probably turned the air conditioner off so that everyone is all sweaty and also because all that power was cutting the DJ off. The Ques have most definitely stripped down to their Crown Royal bags and hiking packs full of Oil, the Kappas have unbuttoned their button downs and their baby oil is looking juuuuuuuuust right. The AKA’s have kept it cool under the fan all night as to not mess up their fresh press, and the mood simmering on perfect.

All that comes together at the right moment when the newest The Dream song comes on and all the Greeks hit it to the floor. This is when it happens. The front of the line sets that shimmy out so hard that any girl within a 5 foot radius is instantly thinking about what the names of y’alls children will be. The Alpha’s slow the Ape Walk down just right so that when they back up a step, all the girls around them move an inch closer. All of the Sorority girls have every dude in the club hypnotized by their hips and the way they’re “Rockin that thing”. As each Greek is doing their thing, they look out into the crowd and make eye contact with some poor helpless soul that has no clue what they are in for. It’s as if in this moment you are strolling just for them and they are silent saying prayers of Thanks to their parents for paying that tuition bill because clearly, this is what College is about. The lights are dancing around each Greek, and it’s almost as if the music is playing in another room, because every person watching can hear their own breath and each call is heard crystal clear throughout the room.

The lucky boys and girls around the room who were able to make that eye contact connection are now in a trance of planning.ย  They are plotting in their heads: How can I find them after this stroll? Is it just me or did it get hotter in here? Can they turn on the lights just for a second, I’m trying to find the one 3 from the back of the line. I wonder if they were feeling that connection we had? Yea, I’m sure they were.

This my friends, is what I’ve heard referred to as Stroll Sex. I was iChatting with some of my greek friends about this phenomenon and some agreed that it is the pinnacle of any good party. While it’s referred to by other names, or simply not named at all, it is a real art form. I questioned on of my friends that is a Que as to whether or not Ques were able to pull this off what with all their hopping and what have you and he assured me that Ques were in fact experts at this. Please check out the following conversation (Click his name to go to his awesome blog Three Ways To Take It)

  • Me: You know how it is, it’s like that moment when it feels like you are grinding just for them.
  • Slim Jackson: Ques are experts in this.
  • Me: Are you sure? How the hell do you figure? How are you even able to make eye contact?
  • Slim Jackson: I mean, we just assume we can beast anyone within a general area.
  • Me: Oh yea?
  • Slim Jackson: After all, we are action figures and mythical creatures.
  • Me: iDied

I mean, if the Ques can do it, anyone can do it.

Additionally, I was chatting it up with one of my Krimson & Cream brothers and he put it so nicely. (He has a blog too!):

  • Me: I’m writing a blog post about Stroll Sex.
  • Supra Villain: Oh? Yeaaah. THAT!
  • Me: Yes?
  • Supra Villain: That was the greatest weapon in my bag. Used to get ’em everytime. Followed up by *censored*
  • Me: Oh my! Well okay then….

See, it is art. Here are a few examples:

Stroll off competition. Guess who won? ๐Ÿ™‚

Kappas and their (In)Famous Shimmy

Where I’m from the Ape Walk gets ’em erry time. LOL

The lovely Zetas at a pool party

Now each of these strolls may not be in exact stroll sex situations, but in the right setting could definitely lead to the above mentioned phenomenon.

So my fellow Greeks, are you familiar with this art form? If yes, post videos, tell stories, have fun. If no, will you be getting with your LB’s and LS’s to try and pull something together to get it in this weekend at the ATL Greek Picnic?ย  Haha!

I know I’ve been sparse with the Greek posts, it’s tiring to the soul. But tomorrow just in time, I’ll be posting ATL Greek Picnic Decorum, so please make sure you come back! Also, I’ll be at all of the Greek Picnic events snapping pics and talking to people. Please email me if you have a business you want to promote, or you want to be featured. jgrunsthecity@gmail.com

Have fun!

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GreekPicnic '09: Hands Signs Not Gang Signs

***Note. I was asked to do a few Greek-Related blog post as a lead up to the ATL Greek Picnic 2009. Every few days up until and during the Greek Picnic I’ll have a new fun Greek blog post up on this site in addition to my regular randomness. Now while I have pledged my love to one org in particular, I will be having fun with ALL orgs including my own. I’ll try to keep it vanilla, but you know how these things go. Don’t be mad or sensitive. Just laugh. See y’all at the picnic! ****** Follow them on Twitter! ATLGreekPicnic

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It’s no secret that we Greeks love our symbols and signs. From the animals we use to unofficially represent us, to our calls, and most notoriously: our hand signs. Rarely will a picture be taken amongst Greeks that doesn’t include us throwing up variations of our hand signs. What makes me laugh however is the lengths to which we will go to be offended at other people’s usage of these hand signs. Especially when you consider that they have only been a part of our organization’s histories for a bit over 30 years or so, and may have been slightly different in the beginning at that.

There is only so much one can do with their hands so it makes me laugh when people get themselves in a complete tizzy over the idea that perhaps other people may use our hand signs to mean different things. A few examples:

We know that Pres. Obama is not an Alpha (despite his debonair ways), we know that Bey is not a Delta (hopefully she never pulls a Tyra on us), we know that when using American Sign Language spelling out the word Iris is not an attempt to throw up the Pinky on the sly (best picture I could find), and we know that every Texas Longhorn’s fan does not belong to Phi Beta Sigma. We know this.

So why is it that at every Kanye West or Roc-A-Fella concert I go to do I see Deltas acting all nervous and uncomfortable when people throw the Roc. Not to mention in the club when any Hova song comes on, the whole crowds lifts it up. I recommend all Deltas stay away from Rock Hill, SC. Word on the street is that they too claim “The Rock” and diamonds will be in the sky (NOT pyramids).

Should we burn down the entire island of Hawaii because their idea of “Hanging loose” includes smiling and waving the sign that the men of Alpha pride as theirs as well? I think not. I actually think it’s pretty funny to see my Alpha friends taking pictures with pretty polynesian women holding up the sign. Besides, Hawaii gave us all sorts of great stuff, namely Pres. Obama who is pretty awesome, but I bet you doesn’t know how to train.

But what REALLY cracks me up is how The Ques have made it to Madden.

I know this burns the britches of the Bruhs. When I tell you my Sorors have been verbally abused and incessantly barked at for throwing the hooks in the middle of a strolls as a shout out to a Love that seems to have been lost. This must make the Ques Purple and Gold with rage and ready to chew down any gaming console in their sight. They would probably rip apart the nearest gamer that dares to press the B button after scoring a touchdown. Just for kicks my friend was playing Madden and I kept begging him to make each player throw the Hooks, I’m so simple that ish had me rolling! I bet kids who play Madden throw up the hooks all the time. I’d pay money to see a little white kid get the Terry Tate Treatment for throwiing the hooks.

But really, it’s all in good fun. I love my Pyramid just as much as the next Greek loves his or her sign. I’ve seen people trip over slight variations that are sometimes regional or other times a sign of suspectness, but at the end of the day, it’s just a hand sign. I know me and my LS’s love to poke harmless fun at our own D.E.A.R.S. who try their best to throw up cute pyramids.

102_0618

LOL we’re a funny bunch.

I’m just sayin’. I know we love our symbols and they mean the world to us, but we pledged for things far greater than the random hand signs, calls, and animals. All that is unnofficial anyway. Stop trying to check people into the boards because they love to rock out, cheer for Texas, visit hawaii, or show love for The Roc. We have to learn how to have more fun, let go of the petty things, and get back on track with all that matters. We’re good at multitasking, but some things just aint worth it! ๐Ÿ™‚ Hell I oughta know. I get more flames from writing these blogs than I ever have from my non-greek related writing.

See ya at the picnic!

More Greek goodness to come!

Got a topic, pics, stories you want to share? Email me at jgrunsthecity@gmail.com or comment below. The site will be getting a facelift soon which should make commenting easier!

GreekPicnic '09: e-Pledging? Is nothing sacred?!

****Don’t forget! Check out the Official ATL Greek Picnic 2009 Website and follow them on Twitter!****

picture-3

As most of our organizations begin to reach that centennial mark and other years that mark our legacy and longevity we are beginning to see the peak of the finest form of flattery: Imitation. From the bona-fide organizations like Groove Phi Groove, to the Sweetheart groups turned Sororities, to the Multicultural Greek Council, we’ve seen it all. Now I have mad love for my MGC Greeks, however it does trip me out to see some of our customs that we made infamous being regurgitated by their organizations. (In an attempt to freeze emails and comment wars, I will concede that many of our customs did not originate with us, but we did make them a major part of Greek life and took them to another level. i.e. Stepping) Recently however, a few things were blazingly brought to my attention. I don’t want to rant and rave about the Greek organizations for every college major, skill set, and sexuality that mimic our style, oh no… that’s been done to death. I will just simply say that it has

Gone

deltamen

Too (first pic is some Greek Switch Day thing, which I mean…. hey… if it works. LOL where I come from, we’ve never quite done this so this was news to me. Thanks to the person who pointed it out.)
miakas2

But this… no doubt. OD

miakatru

Far.

mansgrhos

What caused me to twist my pearls around my neck and take a deep breath in prayer that my Founders and the Founders of the other D9 orgs were still peaceful in their graves were these two sites:

Alpha Chi Sigma

Phi Rho Epsilon

I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. Online Fraternities and Sororities? How could this even possibly make sense. These groups are using the online gaming community Second Life to claim some random bond that I truly cannot fathom. Now I have plenty of e-friends and I will go to e-war over them. But only in a way that’s not really all that serious, and still says that I have better things to do with my life. I will be the first to admit that I know very little about Second Life, so if I’m coming across as ignorant, believe me I am on this subject. It’s like the Sims only… YOU are the Sim? Nevermind all of that. Applying this community to Greek Organizations is truly some next level stuff and makes me want to throw my Blackberry in the trash for fear that the Robots truly will take over.

Like a train wreck you just can’t stop watching I read through the websites (read: MySpace Accounts) and it tripped me out that these people were Dead Azz Serious! They have pictures of their virtual cookouts and their crossings. The Sorority is Phi Rho Epsilon but the first Greek letter they use is Pi. So I’m guessing it’s a play on Fire & Pyro, but it’s still all kinds of incorrect and wrong. (Probably because the correct org is already taken) The Frat’s page pictured a big buff Sims character with issues wearing a belt wielding a battle axes behind the words “Send me a message if you want to pledge.” This confused me thoroughly. I have so many questions.

For such technologically advanced people, MySpace is the best you could do? How do you determine if an interest is trustworthy? Is there even a need to be discrete in the Second Life? How are line numbers given out? How challenging can the process be? In terms of creating a Fraternal Bond how is this accomplished online when you don’t even know if the people you are talking to are being honest? Bump all of that. WHAT IS THE POINT?

I imagine that in an effort to make online undergraduate school that much more cooler people are trying to get as much out of it as they can. But we don’t even know if that’s the case. Are these people even in school? Do they have degrees? I think some people miss the point on Greek Life. I would do an investigative report on this, but I think this blog is about as far as I can allow my mind to embrace this concept.

From the โˆฮกฮ• website “Be more concerned with your character than your reputation because your character is who you really are while your reputation is merely what others think of you
No my loves. Your character is some cartoonish Sims thing that you made up online one day that probably looks nothing like you. It’s almost impossible to know who you really are unless of course you had Set via Skype or Tokbox. Pledge Week? I doubt it. “Spitting” info at 72 wpm at your e-Bate (Probate) will not impress me. Carpal Tunnel, far-sightedness, and the ability to create intricate web avatars does not make you made.

I mean hey, I aint knockin what ya do (Ok.. I am…. I really am. Sorry.) but just know that if these orgs ever come to the NPHC asking for membership I will flee to my private island of the coast of Africa to end out my days. That will mean that they actually incorporated, it isn’t a joke, and Will Smith will be swooping in to save the world on the next July 4th.

I pray that this is a joke. I really do.

…Coming up next for my Greek Picnic Blogs: “What NOT to do in your letters.” “Running THROUGH the yard, versus just running it.” Plus many many more. Keep the topics coming!

GreekPicnic '09: We get it! You're Greek!

****Don’t forget! Check out the Official ATL Greek Picnic 2009 Website and follow them on Twitter!****

Now one of the easiest ways for the outside world to notice the amazing things that we Greeks do is really quite simple. Paraphernalia. While we’re out doing community service, stealing your girl from under you, hosting scholarship galas, getting drunk in the club, shopping in the mall for our step show outfits homeless people, people are able to notice us by our ‘Nalia. Maybe it’s a hat, a shirt emblazoned with letters, a jacket, or even a bag. Either way, the point is subtly made.

Or maybe it isn’t.

Check out this guy

doublenailia

Granted these fellow Greeks are of the older generation, and are clearly proud of their organization, where I come from this is still an Epic Fail in How to Proper Rep Your Org in ‘Nalia.

I won’t get into specific tiny variations of the Laws That Govern ‘Nalia, (such as no letters below the waist, no letters on your feet, etc. Although I do follow those rules as well) but I will talk about those who just don’t think one piece is enough.

plates

Way to be doing too much.

I know we tend to get real excited after crossing and all those gifts are just too amazing to be patient with. So for our first community service event we go full throttle. Hat? Check. Line Shirt? Check. Line Jacket? Check. Purse or ManBag with letters? Check. Don’t forget your handy [Insert your org here] water bottle, keychain, and random piece of jewelry (dog tags, bracelet, beaded chain some groupie your girlfriend painstakingly made for you). In all of your excitement you have officially crossed over into doing Way.Too.Much.

We Get It! You’re Greek! Your entire closest is full of your colors! For the past year you haven’t been able to wear any colors outside of those that blend in with dirt and asphalt. Now, you are really changing the game up by adding two new colors to your previously dismal rainbow and making sure that everyone knows that you BLEED Gold/Red/Pink/Blue/Green/Purple/Brown.

I’m poking fun, but this is a major offense. It makes my eyes burn a little bit to see someone with the Jacket and matching shirt underneath. The hat/other combo isn’t as offensive, but it still hurts the heart a little bit. Something about it screams “I’m a pretentious Greek and in case you didn’t see it the first time, here it is again, and again, oh and check my Swag socks. That’s right baby…. I got letters on my draws too.”

LOL No offense to Greeks who have commited this Greek Fashion Faux-paux. I have several friends who need to be fined in this area and I love them still. I love my organization too, but I won’t cover myself from head to toe and believe that it was a good idea. ๐Ÿ™‚

I tried with all of my heart to find good pictures of this offense. If you have some, share some! Not trying to hurt feelings, just having good fun! Email any pictures to jgrunsthecity@gmail.com